James and Madeleine - After Spectre
by JanuaryWednesdayJune
Summary: Madeleine and James. After spectre and will go on till their holiday in Italy in No Time To Die. Madeleine wants to have a chat with James on why he chose her.


"Come on…" James grabbed my hand, whisking me off to the other side of the bridge before he had a chance to look back at half - mangled face of his foster brother and look into the eyes of his awaiting boss who would never get him back. I looked at him, tying to decipher the emotion he was showing, but he was completely blank. Even for me, with all the psychological and cognitive training and practice I had, it was hard. My eyes skimmed over every inch of his face, searching for something that was telling. He turned his head my way and offered a small smile which I returned.

I knew he was trying to distract me and disarm me of my ability to analyse his mind which was then proven when he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his body, not in a sexual way, but in a way where he was trying to seek comfort. I knew I had to say something but I didn't know when. Our stride lead us to a flight of stairs which we both climbed briskly, I assumed to his apartment. He opened the door for me, the gentleman he is. Before I had time to take in my surroundings, James slammed the door and pushed me up against it, the doorknob digging into my spine, but I didn't care.

His lips met mine.

His hands grabbed my legs and wrapped them around his waist. I knew what was about the happen, but before I could let it go on any longer, I had to talk to him. My thinking caused a hesitation in my response to kiss him back so he moved to my neck, biting and sucking and I lost all ability even think straight. But I fought for my ability to speak. "James…"

"Madeleine…" he said breathlessly, making his way to the buttons on my trench coat.

"James, why did you do it? Why did you choose me?" He stopped and looked at me. "Why are you asking me this right now?" I looked at him lovingly

"Because I have to know. I have to know why I am here, why you chose me. I need to know that I am not wasting my time and you're not just a reincarnation of my father who is about to fuck me over and make me wish I never knew you and what back luck I have. I am not about to do that to myself again and I am also not about to compete with Vesper's ghost. And if I am, if I am just a reminder of what you have lost and what to wish you had with her, you need to tell me and I will walk out that door right now. I have too much respect for myself to relive my past and pretend to be someone else. So we need to talk before we fuck."

He looked at me, shocked that I even breathed her name and reminded him, but I stood my ground. He stared at me, searching for something. I don't know what that something was. He untangled himself from me and leaped to the counter to pour himself a drink. He took a shot.

"Sit." He commanded, pointing to the couch near the coffee table.

His hands gripped the sides of the counter. He looked at his drink, thinking for a few seconds, accompanied by a few shots of the half - full bottle in front of him. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he looked at me.

His eyes boring into mine, soft and beautiful yet intense and purposeful.

"First of all…" he started. I shifted uncomfortably, for I suddenly felt like a child that was being punished. I felt inferior so I walked to the bar stool where my butt made a home in the comfort of the seat and I looked at him questioningly, urging him to continue. He leaned on the counter, pushing the bottle of brandy towards me. Its content looking at me, invitingly. An invitation I was willing to accept. I grimaced as the slosh burned my mouth and ran down my throat but I didn't care. All I was focused on was him. He took my hands in his and looked at me lovingly, a face that I had only seen directed towards me.

He continued "….You are not, you never will be and you never have competed with Vesper's ghost. Madeleine, I loved her. Even in death, I still love her. She's not alive, my love for her has not died and it never will but there is nothing I can do about that. She is gone. I have moved on. There is less pain now. I thought I could never love like that again or forget about her until I met you.

Do not ever think that you remind me of what I have lost and what I wish I had with her, because that is not true. You are not a reminder of that. You are a reminder that a love like that still exists for me with you and I never thought it could. I love you, Madeleine and I want to be with you because of that. I do not picture her when I am with you nor am I pretending that you are her. You are you and that is who I love and that is who I am willing to be with. I love you. I love you. I am so sorry. I never meant for you to feel that way." His hands cupped my face as we wiped away the tears. "Please don't cry."

I struggled to get the right words. My voice giving away all of my emotion.

"I thought you were just staying with me to deal with the death of Vesper not because you love me. You love me?" I asked. I couldn't even look at him. I was too afraid. His fingers went under my chin, pulling me up to my face and I noticed the tears in his eyes. I didn't know he had a really soft side. "Of course I do. I love you."

"i love you too." I replied.

"Come here…" I walked around the counter and into the safety of his arms. He wrapped them around me tightly.

"Always." He said.

"Always." I repeated.

_Comment if you want chapter 2 _


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